Happy New Beers

HEALTH FOR MEN – JANUARY 2009

10 GREAT REASONS NOT TO OVERDO IT

It’s the boozy season again, but don’t let it go to your head. We’ve got 10 reasons not to overindulge without guilt.

KEEP YOUR ORGANS UNPICKLED
‘Livers are important,’ says Hugh Laurie’s character in the medical drama series House. ‘You can’t live without them, hence the name.’ By drinking sensibly, you’ll reduce the impact on your body’s organs.

WATCH THE POUNDS FALL OFF
Ever heard anybody bemoaning the size of their ‘water gut’? Us neither. Be prepared to explore undiscovered realms in the notch region of your belt.

WATCH THE POUNDS PILE UP
A tenner will barely get you three pints in some parts of the UK, and drinking wine can more than double the cost of a meal. Okay, so the cost of soft drinks and bottled water can also cause a minor choking incident, but tap water is free.

DRIVE Look who’s Mr Popular! Okay, so this perk has its downsides if you don’t enjoy being a chauffeur. Still, no more waking up on your mate’s sofa, doing the morning-after walk of shame or queuing in the cold for three hours to bolster a taxi-driver’s retirement fund.

RECLAIM YOUR MEMORY Blackouts are best left for wars. But if you really miss reliving a series of harrowing events via cliff-hanger instalments, hire an old series of 24.

MAINTAIN YOUR DECORUM We’ve all seen the footage of red-faced drunkards with sick down their fronts. No self-respecting man wants to end up looking like that. (On the downside, bruises will never have the same sense of mystery!)

BE THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE BOX Alcohol is a depressant. It slows down the speed you think and move — and can motivate you to tell vague acquaintances you love them. If you’re the only non-drinker in a crowd of drinkers, you’re at an advantage.

RECLAIM THE DAY AFTER Studies show that alcohol reduces the quality of your sleep. Personal experience has shown that hangovers are bloody awful and that a heavy night can wipe out the next day. If you want to live a little, get plastered. But if you want to live a lot, stick to the Cherryade.

RAISE YOUR STANDARDS Ever heard of lemonade goggles? Neither have we. Too much the night before and you might need another stiff drink when you see who you’ve woken up next to. And that’s without mentioning your performance. Ouch.

BE YOURSELF Mr Clever becomes Mr Arrogant Know-all, Gentle Ben is like a bear with a sore head and even Snoopy has been known to develop an ugly sneer. Reducing the amount you drink can also reduce the next day’s levels of personal shame.

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